When will it end…

If you read my last blog only a few days ago you will know that I have experienced many ups and downs over the last couple of weeks, but particularly the last week.

I returned to hospital on Monday morning after the bleeding becoming heavier again on Sunday night. I tried to stay calm, I tried not to worry and I tried to keep Fane positive…this is really not easy when inside you are terrified that you’re going to lose your baby.

After more examinations from a very nice doctor I was admitted to the orchard ward again and advised I would be kept in for the whole day and night for observation…what fun! This meant not seeing Alex that night as the logistics were too difficult. Worrying about one child and missing another like crazy is quite heartbreaking for any parent.

Blood was taken several times, a cannula inserted into my hand in case I bled heavily again and needed fluid, and I was poked and prodded in many uncomfortable ways.


I also had an ultrasound which gave us no indication as to why I am bleeding but it did mean I got to see my baby girl again and her heart was beating away nice and strong (legs are still little).

Another night spent not being able to sleep in hospital…as much as I commend the Orchard Ward and the Cygnet Wing in general, sleeping anywhere but your own bed is just not easy. I was hot, it was noisy and it was lonely. I did however get to meet a friends new baby whilst I was there, congratulation to Amy Blowles and Craig on the birth of Amber!

Once again, this morning, I was examined and spoken to by a doctor, a consultant, two midwives and a student nurse aaaaaall at the same time, and told there was no obvious reason for the bleeding, I just have to keep an eye on things and was once again discharged.

I am not upset or angry that I can’t be told why I’m bleeding; they would never conduct any kind of invasive tests on pregnant women or babies in order to do more research into such things as it’s simply too dangerous. I’m happier with that. I’m just said that it is still happening and that I feel helpless and that Fane feels helpless. But we can find comfort in the knowledge that it isn’t anything dangerous; it’s not the baby, it’s not the placenta, it’s not my cervix and I’m definitely not showing any signs of labour!

Oh, but just to add the the fun, they did find Group B Strep, which is an infection that would be dangerous if it was passed onto baby, so I need to be put on antibiotics via a drip whilst I am in labour and kept in for a minimum of 12 hours after birth. Woohoo…

On a brighter note, Fane’s parents bought our buggy for us which I absolutely love and cannot wait for baby girl to be in it!



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